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Cranky Prof tagged me for one of those damn meme thingees.

Two things stand out about this tag. First of all, she said the onus is on us which makes me laugh for two reasons. The obviously funny onus = on+us, and the fact that onus looks like anus, and butt holes are just funny. Second of all, she said that I have creative cussing, which is funny, too. See, I have a horrible potty mouth. In fact, I should have a copy of the language warning on her blog tattooed on my forehead. But my mommy reads my blog, so I try to temper my outbursts for her sake. It doesn't always happen.

So here goes. More random things about me, since obviously these ones and these ones weren't enough.

1. My second favorite movie of all time (behind Die Hard, of course) is The Boondock Saints. They use the f-word like punctuation. It's delicious.

2. I say "Son of a motherless goat!" (a la Three Amigos) when I can't say what I'm really thinking. The version in my head has two very bad words in it, and one moderately bad word. When I say the real version, people run in the opposite direction, as those words, in that order, spoken out loud, indicate that I have lost control of whatever irrational fury has been simmering in my mind. On the plus side, just saying them out loud is often cathartic enough to regain control of the fury.

3. I bleep myself at work. You know how when you're watching a movie on TV and instead of replacing the swear words with something ridiculous, they just have a second of silence where the character would have been talking? Yeah, I do that. When I get angry, it's like I'm having a verbal seizure. And if you're looking at me, you catch the full effect, because I still mouth whatever I'm not saying out loud. And the f-word is very easy to pick out when reading lips. Just watch the sidelines after any bad play in any pro football game.

4. I work with a guy who says "That's bowwwlll-shee-it" in your standard southern accent, and it will make me laugh no matter how mad I am. It's just so funny hearing such a crisp, two syllable word turned into a long, drawn out four syllable word.

5. I had never heard the word "asshat" before I started blogging. 3/4 of the people I come in contact with on a daily basis are asshats. I just didn't know it until a year ago.

6. I think that Cranky is the most creative cusser of them all. This is why she's my hero. Of course, this is also why she's my hero.

So there you have it. Random facts about cussing. This is the only thing missing. Don't watch it, mom.