Thursday, July 26, 2007

Change of Shift: Volume Two, Number Three

What Color Crayola Crayon Are You?

Nurse Secrets Vol. 1 is Vivid Violet.

You'll see why.

I Am That Person is Mauvelous.

Because any nurse that does what she does is just that. Marvelous.

Why Nursing Ratios Are Failing Patients is Unmellow Yellow.

Anything that fails patients is unmellow.

How the Other Half Lives is Jungle Green.

Sometimes it's a jungle in the ICU; perhaps we should remember that before we eat each other alive.

Yeah, That's What I Do is Eggplant.

There's more to this job than meets the eye.

The Devil Gives Coumadin is Radical Red.

He is the Devil, after all.

What the Shadow Knows is, well, Shadow.

Duh.

Whatever Happened to IM Injections? is Cotton Candy.

That's what pain meds seem to be to some people these days. Candy.

Seeking Words of Balm is Cerulean.

That's the color of tears. Take a Kleenex with you.

The Circadian Rhythm Caper is Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown.

If you're a night shifter working day shift, fuzzy wuzzy is exactly how you feel.

The Alzheimer's Patient is Purple Heart.

For courage.

A Golden Moment is Sunglow.

That sweet feeling when you've helped someone.

Psychobabble is Screamin' Green.

What other color could Psychobabble be?

Helloooo, Nurse! is Shocking Pink.

Because it's always more fun when it's shocking.

Have You Saved Anyone's Life, Dad? is Bittersweet.

Sometimes, even when you love your job, you reach your limits.

Alternative Reality is Tropical Rainforest.

I think that's where magic water comes from, isn't it?

Hangman is Midnight Blue.

Oh how I wish I had nights like this.

Top Ten Hospital Medications of all Time is Wild Watermelon.

Because I already used Cotton Candy.

Please Don't Try This At Home is Granny Smith Apple.

The voice of reason speaking out, just like my Granny used to.

Machine Mambo is Shamrock.

Because with a little luck, Hannah will go to sleep tonight.

Talk to Me is Outer Space.

That is where you go under anesthesia, isn't it?

Preparing For the Battle: Nursing School! is Atomic Tangerine.

Hey, if you're going to have a battle, I say take a big weapon.

The Collar on the Shirt is Sunset Orange.

At the end of the day, sometimes all you need is a good compromise.

Stroke Centers; Marketing or Medicine? is Green.

For the color of money.

Trusted Professions is Royal Purple.

Selflessness breeds trust.

Working Memory Training from a Pediatrician Perspective, Focused on Attention Deficits is Wild Blue Yonder.

Because that's where my memory and my attention usually go on a regular basis.

Dumb Day and Disc Decompression of Delaware is Blush.

Because it's a bit embarrassing to be caught in a lie....

The Charlie Weis Malpractice Saga and The results are in! is Manatee.

Sorry. He just looks like a big old manatee.

12 Reasons Medical Tourism is So Popular is Caribbean Green.

Having your hip replaced while on vacation seems so win-win....

The Best Drug Treatment Programs is Inchworm.

Sometimes, recovery moves about that slow.

**************

And that wraps up this edition of Change of Shift. Thanks to everyone who played; you sent in some great posts.

I'd love to wrap this up with something original and witty, but frankly, Blogger's been kicking my ass for about 4 hours now, and I just need a beer. So I'll leave you with this.

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"

20 comments:

Mother Jones RN said...

Hey Monkeygirl, you did a great job putting together this week's edition of Change of Shift. Thank you for including my last minute post.

Enjoy your beer!

MJ

CrankyProf said...

Great job, MonkeyGirl!

Kim said...

Now this is creative! Absolutely beautiful! Blogger went nuts on me for my first Grand Rounds hosting and sixty seven links had to be redone!

Hmmm...sounds like St Peter is the ultimate triage nurse! : D

Thank you for hosting this week..you are definitely the sizzle of the shizzle (whatever I said, it's good!)

Terry at Counting Sheep said...

Creative idea - I love it. Thanks for the mention. I will link back too. CoS is wonderful reading.

Prisca said...

wow-very impressive! you did a great job!

Loving Annie said...

heh-heh ! Happy Thursday to you, Monkeygirl !

Dean Moyer said...

Great job MonkeyGirl. Clever idea. Thanks for including me.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Why is everybody playing with crayons?

Babs RN said...

We all have to appease our inner children, Jean-Luc ;)

Thanks for the inclusion, Monkeygirl!

mielikki said...

Great job, Monkey Girl. I was highly entertained by your color choices!

Bohemian Road Nurse... said...

Heh! Love the joke! (But I'm fairly positive that when I arrive at the Pearly Gates St. Peter's going to say: "You can't come in until you finish your charting....")

Ambulance Driver said...

Awwww....thanks, MonkeyGirl.

AlvaroF said...

how beautiful! very good for my brain to enjoy, and for yours to create it :-)

hannah said...

I love you.

Yes, I'm drunk.

hannah said...

I love you.

Yes, I'm drunk.

rbach said...

Thanks, MonkeyGirl, for all the posts (and for including us, too). Off to do lots of reading and commenting....

MarlaQuack said...

Very colorful Monkey Girl!

Nice!

knitalot3 said...

Great job! I really enjoyed it.

Mama Mia said...

Nicely done. Thanks for hosting!! :)

RehabNurse said...

Love the joke...going to share it with our case managers!

Maybe they'll pass it along to the HMOs!

Just remember...that's probably the balance of the HMO nurse's lifetime limit...ooops!