Friday, June 6, 2008

New disease

I've had a cold for a week, and it really hasn't been too bad, except that I can't stop coughing. At all. Ever. As in, NO SLEEP. I'm exhausted. (Don't bother offering your remedies in the comment section. I've heard, and tried, them all.)

Anyway, I took a patient upstairs to the floor yesterday, and when I got back, there was a fine layer of LOL Flakes left on the gurney, as there often is.

And it made me think, "What if this isn't just a regular cold? What if this is a new respiratory disease? What if I have inhaled enough LOL Flakes to give me Deborah Peel Lung?"

So I'm thinking of calling one of those fine law firms that advertise on late-night television and see if I have grounds for a class-action lawsuit.

Anyone else want in?

33 comments:

NIck said...

it's what you get for spending your time in hospitals... they're no place for healthy people to set foot in!

Gertrude said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gertrude said...

It is funny to me that you're talking about inhaling LOL flakes and the person you mention is named Peel. HAHA! I want in on your class action since I assume it covers flakes of all types that are inhaled not just from little old ladies.

Asclepius said...

I've just come off of a shift that lasted two hours longer than it was meant to. During the whole shift I never set foot off of the bay with the six of the worst C. Diff patients i've come across. It'll be interesting to see how I'm feeling in a few days. Although I dont want to be just another person suing the NHS.

MonkeySister said...

You are such a snob. You can't even get sick without making a federal production out of it! :)

I stay away from LOL's. And LOM's for that matter... I get enough potential diseases from my petri dish children.

Hope you feel better. :รพ

Rogue Medic said...

If the disease is named after Deborah Peel, does that violate her privacy rights?

She maybe the biggest flake around, be careful you do not inhale any of her flakes directly, they might lead to instant whining and delayed fibromyalgia.

Get well soon. :-)

911DOC said...

lortab will work. no shit. it will.

Sarah said...

I should get in on this. I have tons of patients who wait until I'm listening to their breath sounds or leaning over to put on their breathing treatments to cough all over me.

EE said...

"fine layer of LOL Flakes"

That's so gross. HAHA

Leslie said...

Make a strong cup of tea with honey and lemon. Open a bottle of Jack Daniels. Throw the tea down the drain, drink the Jack Daniels. It won't cure a thing, but you won't care.

dhep1980 said...

I'm glad they were fine LOL flakes. The coarse ones get stuck in your lungs & cause your breath to have that mothball-ish, old-people smell.

GuitarGirlRN said...

OK, this WHOLE COMMENT THREAD is freaking me out. I truly am grossed out like crazy.

UUUUGHHH...LOL flakes.

They're GRRRRRREAT!

Oh--and hycodan works awesome on those intractable coughs. Nitey night!

muffinRN said...

I sometimes wonder when I'm sick if I have a weird new disease from some of the "icky" people I take care of. I agree with Sarah, some people were never taught to cover their mouths when they cough. People I work with call me a germaphobe, I clean off my COW(computer on wheels) thoroughly at the start of my shift, use alcohol gel or foam religiously, wash my hands a ton, wipe down the phone and desk area before I sit to do paperwork. I just see how many people touch stuff and you never know how clean their hands are. I think of all the patients I see use the bathroom or urinals and not clean their hands, then want to touch your hands, and think a coworker could have touch their hands and forgot to wash and then touched this desk where I'm gonna set my coffee. Okay, I guesss I do have issues! My point is, I feel your pain with the unrelenting cough and fear of some new plague! Hope you feel better soon!

Tex said...

Least it was an LOL....just don't inhale FHG flakes (Filthy Homeless Guy).

Nurse K said...

With every patient encounter, I've taken to wearing the mask that The Speaker told me to wear while driving to prevent cancer caused by diesel fuel. May as well prevent LOLFlake sequelae as well.

Rogue Medic said...

And you'll be influencing fashion.

The retro SARS look. :-)

girlvet said...

Only other nurses would know the meaning of LOL flakes. Oh the nasty flakes that come off the human body....we don't want to go there...

MonkeyGirl said...

*DING*DING*DING*DING*

And Nurse K wins the "6-Dollar Word of the Day" Award!

I can't believe you used sequelae in my comments section.

Not only that, you worked in a Speaker reference, too.

I'm honored.

Nurse K said...

The Speaker can be worked into anything. Speaking of The Speaker, I saw her dumpster-diving at the nursing home the other day, and I was nice enough to inform her that LOL Flakes were not a breakfast item.

She replies, "But Nurse K, a little Splenda and thickened dysphagia milk and it's golden."

Epijunky said...

We were taking a 450-500 lb guy to a urology appointment last week... My partner was helping the gentleman move his feet to the middle of the stretcher, one of his slippers fell off his foot.

Instant cloud of flakes. Right in my face.

Absolutely wretching.

And Nurse K, Your last comment made me laugh out loud and scare my three year old ;)

Anonymous said...

whitecap nurse says:

Maybe you have pertussis? Sorry about the flakes - those are nasty.

Miss Sharkey said...

omg. I'm off to my shift on a gen med/acute stroke ward (read geriatric ward) now and while your post made me gaffaw i just know I'll go round all evening breathing through my nose so I don't taste the flakes and I don't think that will help.
best gross out laugh I've had in ages

EE said...

Totally off topic: My poopstrong mug came in today!

Anonymous said...

are lol flakes little old lady flakes?

Barbara Martin said...

Your immune system is tired and needs perking up. Tea with ginger and lemon, followed by rest.

A class-action lawsuit? How many other people have the same problem of the LOL Flakes? Lotsa luck!

LPN with an M16 said...

That would explain my constant couging too.....wait, I don't work with LOL's. Maybe mine's caused by cradle cap flakes from the babies I see everyday.

Maggie Rosethorn said...

In all seriousness, MG, think about pertussis if you haven't had the DTaP recently. I went through the cough from hell (Yes, the so-called "100 days cough") about 2 years ago. Not being able to sleep, coughing till you are breathless and retching...Ah, the good old days. So glad they are gone. I actually broke down and cried (soundlessly...actually making any kind of noise or effort made me cough again). My MD gave me cough syrup with codeine with 2 refills and TOLD me he expected me to take it every 4 hours round the clock for a week. Took that long to break the coughing cycle, but I still coughed with any exertion or talking. Literally 3 months till I didn't cough any more.

I made SURE my family's vaccines were UTD at that point.

Jeremiah said...

I love that "Deborah Peel" has made it on more than one blog. Iniatially noted it on Dr. WhiteCoat's blog...and now yours! Too Funny!

Anonymous said...

Well give me all the LOLs with that dry skin any day. You , dear one, may have all the young nasty ass whores with their various STDs, and stinking nasty, dripping crotch rot that goes with them.

Mother Jones RN said...

I love class action lawsuits. Count me in!

MJ

Spook, RN said...

My Mother sears by cardamom and cloves.

Me? I listen to my grandpa:
1. Hang your hat on your bed post.
2. Drink whiskey till you see 2 hats.
3. In the morning, you'll feel much better.

;-)

EE said...

While pulling a pillow case off a a pillow after a LOL call a poof of flakes flew right in my face, filling my lungs.

I thought of you, big sis.

Dedicated_Dad said...

Honey.

Seriously.

Preferably fresh/raw/local, but honey is the shiznit for coughs.

I like to wash mine down with a pint of blackberry brandy.

DD