Saturday, January 19, 2008

In the beginning.....

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.

"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful! I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain," reported Eve.

Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc....... she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".

"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see......... where did I put the useless boob?"

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?


Saramedic said...

That's the most logical (and funniest) theory of creation yet.

Ambulance Driver said...

The way I heard it was, God noticed Adam walking alone in the Garden of Eden, looking troubled.
He asked Adam, "What troubles thee?"

"Lord, I have no mate," Adam replied. "All of the other animals have a counterpart; the ram and the ewe, the cow and the bull..."

"You know Adam," God said, "I've been giving that some thought, but designing a mate for my favored craeation requires a little more planning. I've come up with a mate for you that will be your constant friend and companion. She will never complain, will challenge you intellectually, be an excellent conversationalist, great in bed, and overwhelmingly beautiful. She'll laugh at your jokes, bear your children without complaint, cook delicious meals and in all ways be a perfect companion to you. I was thinking about calling her Eve."

"Sounds great!" Adam enthused. "What's it gonna cost?"

"Well, that's the bad news," God frowned. "Biological material of that type and quality ain't plentiful. I'm probably going to need one arm and one leg from you."

"Jeez God, that's kinda steep!" Adam mused. "What can I get for a rib?"

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Babs said...

Evolutional psychology, psychological evolution. The man makes himself irrelevant by his own attitude. And then they wonder why we do so much better without them....?


harbor doc said...

Aahhh, ambulance driver. The irony is that that attitude has been costing man an arm and a leg ever since.

911DOC said...

like a freight train at full speed with whistle blowing was the set up to the punch line...

nursemyra said...

haha :-)

Alaina said...

love it. also love AD's version ;)