Order of importance
My mom lives in the Republic of California. I live much closer to the other coast. If I don't call her at least twice a week, she worries that I'm dead or something. (Side note: When you're 1/3 of a century old and your mother still ends every conversation with some variation of, "Stay out of trouble," you've been in trouble too many times.)
I called my mom yesterday and she said to me, "I can't talk right now, dear, I'm watching the Osmonds on Oprah."
It's not enough that I have to have to fight my sisters for "Top Daughter on the Totem Pole" honors, now I have Oprah and the Osmonds to contend with.
I can't beat Oprah.
*sigh*
Damn Oprah.
5 comments:
Last night, I was deciding whether or not I wanted to bump my life insurance up this year or not, so I sorta jokingly asked Dr. Napoleon what he thought my chances of dying in 2008 were (mind you, I'm 28 years old) and he said "oh, 1 percent or so". He said he thought either my husband would kill me or I'd crash my car from the diabetes. THANKS, so glad I asked.
Maybe that's why my mom calls me 8 times a week and emails constantly. I only have a 1 in 100 chance of making it to '09.
I did bump my insurance up.
to monkey girl,
i hope your mom doesn't read the comment section or she might find out about your promiscuity, crack habit, and new tattoo. hi monkey girl's mom.
911:
As far as the promiscuity: a girl's gotta supplement her income somehow. I prefer meth to crack: it saves me having to brush my teeth. And she didn't know about the new tattoo. Thanks a lot, jerk.
What new tatoo!!
dear monkey girl's mom. it's really a very classy tattoo... to the extent that a puking skull can be classy... it's very nicely done and only visible if your daughter is not wearing long sleeves...
just kidding. i have no clue whether she has a new tattoo or not. we have an internet relationship only which is a shame because she seems so cool.
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