Saturday, November 10, 2007

Order of importance

My mom lives in the Republic of California. I live much closer to the other coast. If I don't call her at least twice a week, she worries that I'm dead or something. (Side note: When you're 1/3 of a century old and your mother still ends every conversation with some variation of, "Stay out of trouble," you've been in trouble too many times.)

I called my mom yesterday and she said to me, "I can't talk right now, dear, I'm watching the Osmonds on Oprah."

It's not enough that I have to have to fight my sisters for "Top Daughter on the Totem Pole" honors, now I have Oprah and the Osmonds to contend with.

I can't beat Oprah.


Damn Oprah.


Nurse K said...

Last night, I was deciding whether or not I wanted to bump my life insurance up this year or not, so I sorta jokingly asked Dr. Napoleon what he thought my chances of dying in 2008 were (mind you, I'm 28 years old) and he said "oh, 1 percent or so". He said he thought either my husband would kill me or I'd crash my car from the diabetes. THANKS, so glad I asked.

Maybe that's why my mom calls me 8 times a week and emails constantly. I only have a 1 in 100 chance of making it to '09.

I did bump my insurance up.

911DOC said...

to monkey girl,
i hope your mom doesn't read the comment section or she might find out about your promiscuity, crack habit, and new tattoo. hi monkey girl's mom.

MonkeyGirl said...

As far as the promiscuity: a girl's gotta supplement her income somehow. I prefer meth to crack: it saves me having to brush my teeth. And she didn't know about the new tattoo. Thanks a lot, jerk.

mom said...

What new tatoo!!

911DOC said...

dear monkey girl's mom. it's really a very classy tattoo... to the extent that a puking skull can be classy... it's very nicely done and only visible if your daughter is not wearing long sleeves...

just kidding. i have no clue whether she has a new tattoo or not. we have an internet relationship only which is a shame because she seems so cool.