Saturday, November 17, 2007

Opinions are like Assholes.....

....and there are plenty of both floating around here today.

Apparently, I have upset a migraineur.

My opinion is that the family of Edith Rodriguez is not entitled to millions of dollars for her death, because though it is a tragedy that she died, her previous drug-seeking behavior was a major contributing factor in her death. I think that one of the reasons that our healthcare system is floundering right now is that there are a whole shit-ton of people with a huge sense of entitlement and absolutely no sense of personal responsibility.

I can back this up with a anecdotal evidence from a minimum of 20-25 patients each night in my ER. (Note I said minimum.)

Did I say that everyone on state-funded medical programs is abusing the system? No.

Did I say that drug-seekers never need legitimate medical care? No.

Did I say that she deserved to die just because she had been drug-seeking on previous visits? Nope, not that, either.

But apparently, a clairvoyant migraineur named Linda (since she left her name, I can't call her an anonymous troll, though she exhibits the behavior of an anonymous troll) has deduced -from the things that I didn't say- that I am "unfit for medicine as a career" and that my opinion is "is not the response of a professional person who is dedicated to healing nor, frankly, is it the response of a person with normal emphatic[sic] capabilities."

And with her incredible clairvoyant abilities, she has also figured out that "You obviously have allowed the job to beat those things out of you and have become so cynical that you can’t even see it."

But the best part was when she told me "You are the first and only person I’ve ever told to get out of medicine."


You're right, Linda. I am a horrible person. In fact, it's a wonder that I can even look at myself in the mirror in the morning after a long night of abusing patients with "migraines" that "just need some of that Dilaud-stuff."

I do terrible things to them the whole time they are in my ER. Things like *gasp* turning out the light, and *swoon* getting them a cold washcloth for their face and a warm blanket. You know, just in case they really do have a migraine. Since I know what it feels like, being a migraine sufferer, myself.

You seem to have a lot of anger, and some other issues as well.

"I couldn’t care less if you think I’m one of “those people” but I have been treated terribly and dangerously in the ER on two different occasions precisely because I said the word “migraine” in triage even though I have never asked for narcotics nor do I want to be treated with them. I have a family member who has a prescription for Vicodan[sic] and if I wanted to I could take them by the bucket full…I don’t because I’m not a drug addict and they don’t work for my migraines…Imitrex does, but sometimes I run out and become incapacitated. I have had a “doctor” try to give me an injection of a painkiller I’m allergic to because he did not read the chart—because he decided ahead of time that I’m one of “those people”.
I have never referred to anyone as "those people". Generally, if I'm referring to a group of people, I will be a bit more descriptive. For example, "Soul-Sucking Drug Seekers" is a term I would use to describe...... wait for it.... soul-sucking drug seekers.

I've also been known to refer to "Freakin' Florence and her Freakin' Fibromyalgia". (Though Florence can't pronounce her fake diseases, and when she says it, it sounds more like "fibromyalgiba" and "lumpus".) And now, thanks to the furor that started over at Scalpel's and ERNursey's, I have the "Whiny Migraineurs." (I never even knew that migraineur was a word until just recently. Go figure.)

Anyway, I want to thank you, dear Linda, for showing me the error of my ways. Thanks to your brilliant personality analysis (albeit of someone that you not only don't know, but that works in a field that you have absolutely no knowledge of) I now know that I am definitely in the wrong business. After all, you can only work in healthcare if you want to "help people", right?

But, shhh, don't tell anyone. After all, it's still a job. Even evil people gotta pay the bills. And with all of "those people" coming in night after night, I'll have job security for a long, long time.


Anonymous said...

Good for you! I like the way you handled the situation. I am not in medicine, but I sympathize with you.

RealisticRN said...

Just curious, have you ever known a "doctor" give an injection of a painkiller for a migraine? Uh, usually they write the order and a nurse will carry out the order. Too bad "Linda" didn't get this dangerous painkiller (given by the "doctor")--she could have sued!
I wonder what the "painkiller" was...let me guess...Toradol...he he he
But MG, Linda does have knowledge of the field...after all, she utilizes the ED for "non emergencies."
And let us not forget that Edith's actual drug use more than likely contributed to her untimely death. Drugs are generally not good for you, and will kill you. I daresay, Edith killed herself.

Nurse K said...

Notice how Linda has the same name as Linda? It's like she's speaking to you from the grave.

CrankyProf said...


Sounds like cranial-rectal inversioneur to me.

I've noticed that people who use the ED for non-emergent shite tend to get all sorts of drama-queen pissy when they are called out on their behavior.

Hang in there, MonkeyGirl. Some of us love you FOR your evilness.

RealisticRN said...

Ditto, cranky...we wouldn't have/want MG any other way!!!!!

Farmgirl said...

I get migraines on occasion. A couple of years ago my family doc even sent me for a CT-scan because I had four in five days.

She gave me these spiffy pills that I was supposed to take when I noticed the "warning signs" of an impending migraine (for me, tingling of the fingers, moving up the arm, blank spots in my vision, etc, the brain is a weird, weird thing). Guess what? They worked.

Of course, I haven't had a migraine in a while, so they might have changed the whole can't-open-your-eyes, can't-speak-coherently, just-let-me-lay-here-and-die aspect on me, but I wouldn't be able to get myself to the emergency room when I had a full-blown migraine. Hell, when I have a migraine, I can barely manage to roll over in time to vomit to the side, instead of choking on it, let alone get in my car/on a bus/use the phone to call 911 and tie up an ambulance that could otherwise be off, you know, saving someone's life, or something trivial like that.

And I sure as shit wouldn't ask for painkillers, they don't do much for me. Just take a hammer and knock me out, let me sleep for a couple of hours, and when I wake up, I'll have a tension headache. Much easier to deal with.

mielikki said...

way to say it, MG. I'm with ya.

Joeymom said...

Being evll is more fun, anyway.

The Nurse said...

"whole shit-ton of people with a huge sense of entitlement and absolutely no sense of personal responsibility."

I like to call these bottom dwellers "Somethin for Nothins."

Cinder said...

Keep up the good work MG! I work on a busy tele floor but since I've been reading these ER blogs I realize it's not something I could do.You have my utmost respect for a difficult job.

911DOC said...

dear monkey girl,
never wrestle with a pig. you will only succeed in getting dirty, and the pig will enjoy it.

Angry Nurse said...

Perhaps this Linda person should become a nurse and show the rest of us plebs how it's done....

girlvet said...

MG - Its great to come home from a hard shift dealing with migraneurs and the like and read your clever comments. Makes my day....

Impetua said...

Quite possibly one of the best-written responses I've ever read. Keep up the good work. Only hope I can be just like you when my day comes. (future nurse)

DrShroom said...

It seems to me that it is never people in the business who leave these rants at us unsympathetic medics. I can't speak for the rest of you, but I'm surely more cynical than I was when I started, and with good reason. I suspect that a few nights shifts in the ED would force a re-think as to how evil we are in the uncaring profession...
The UK NHS is based on a massive sense of entitlement with absence of personal respionsibility. This is what social health care, free at point of delivery will do to you.
Grand blog.


amy said...

monkey girl,

you rock.

and i'm sorry about your eyes, but happy you got that peppermint drink from starbucks.

i am a therapist, and our descriptive labels for certain kinds of patients are not unalike from yours. your blog is delightful to read!

take care.

Anonymous said...

MG- as a frequent reader, first time commenter, I felt compelled to add to a topic that I have seen both sides of. I get migraines. They suck. I don't think anyone is disagreeing with that. No matter how much I may want to die, the normal ones aren't gonna kill me. If I start getting suicidal thoughts after X amount of time that the meds aren't working, I go to the ER for relief, as otherwise I might do something stupid like attempt to stab an icepick into my face, but I take preventives and have abortives to try before I GET to that point. I follow up every time.

I know it's not patients like me who really rub you and physicians/nurses/NPs/PAs/etc.. the wrong way. I have enough intelligence to know that we're not the ones you're referring to.

We're the ones who know that our migraine is not more important than the MI you just coded... or more than the ectopic pregnancy you just found, or hell even the old dude with pneumonia. It sucks for us, but we know you'll get to us eventually, and we will thank you graciously when you do.

So thanks! And I hope you know that we're not all like a select vocal few.


Jess said...

"whole shit-ton of people with a huge sense of entitlement and absolutely no sense of personal responsibility."

You nailed it, MG.

Sadly, the family of the drug-seeker (the ones suing) will prove to all the morons that sense of entitlement that has become an unspoken line item in the Bill of Rights. When the hospital settles, or when the family walks with any sum of money, it will only serve to prove that the world (and your local ER) do, indeed, owe you something. At what point can we blame the lawyers along with the drug addicts?

Linda believes that you owe her compassion and caring even as she tells you such lovely things as "get out of medicine". She seems to think that despite how she treats you, she's owed something. I love how it was the DOCTOR'S FAULT for not "reading her chart". I guess she was too incapacitated to say "I'm allergic!". Everyone ELSE is responsible for her. Everyone ELSE is supposed to take care of HER body, her pain, her problems. And DAMN YOU if you don't do it to the "T"- she'll get her lawyer on the phone faster than she can borrow illegal Vicidin from sister-in-laws brother's wife's cousin.

I'm allergic to Penicillin- I don't for a second assume anything (it's one of those real allergies that I don't just casually forget) and instead actually TELL my care providers. SHIT! What is WRONG with me?? I should just remain silent and say "inject me!". When I nearly die, I can SUE! WHOO HOO! THANKS LINDA! What a MERRY CHRISTMAS FOR ME!

MG, I'm not a nurse(unless you count applying often requested, rarely needed Barbie band-aids). But I read your blog because it is compelling & and well written. Plus, you're hilarious. Now THAT, my friend, is a brilliant personality analysis.

I feel a sore throat coming on.

Lynn Price said...


Nearly laughed up a lung. I'm an editor for a publishing house and hear more than my fair share of whining and complaining about my black heart, so I sympathize. My personal antivenon is chocolate.

Amy said...

"Lumpus" made me snort.
It should be the technical medical term for "ass cellulite".
Much more fitting, don't you think?

Bob said...

Awesome post! Way to not take shit from an idiot!