Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Observations from my day

Today while I was getting my oil changed (I have to go to the dealer so they can turn off the damn Service light; what a scam), I sat in the "Customer Lounge" and watched CNN for 20 minutes.

To my right was the ugliest woman I have ever seen (and I've seen a lot of ugly women). I ignored her completely until I overheard what she was saying on her cell phone: "Hi, my name is Ugly Jane and I'm Tiffani Rich Bitch's Mary Kay Consultant. She's having a Pampered Piggies Luau (I'm not making this up) on Friday evening at 7 pm, and she'd really like for you to be there. We'll be doing pedicures and makeovers and trying out our new fall colors."

At which point I could not stop looking at her, because if Mary Kay cosmetics can make this woman look good enough to sell Mary Kay to other people, then I need to buy some!

Next I went to Wal-mart to pick up my groceries for the week. When I got up to the check out stands, (of which there are 24) there were 3 open. And one of them was the 20 items or less lane. I actually dug through my cart to see if I could pick out 20 important things and leave the rest. No such luck.

So I got stuck in a line of 6 people with FULL carts waiting to be checked out by the slowest, dumbest woman in the world. (But not the ugliest, I already met her this morning.) For almost 30 minutes, I had the pleasure of listening to the freaks in front of me talk about how they had their feet ionized, and what color their toxins were.

After 10 minutes I was ready to leave the groceries and just order pizza all week. But I stuck it out. And it's a good thing I did, because.......

While waiting in line I picked up two new candy bar variations that I hadn't tried yet. (I know, I was shocked, too). Three Musketeers has a new mint version that is basically what a York peppermint patty wants to be when it grows up. It is fantastic. And Reese's has a new fluffy thing that is basically the peanut butter version of a Three Musketeers bar. Also fantastic. And according to the package, they are good for you (at least that was how I interpreted whatever it was the package said).

So my oil is changed, my fridge is full, I saw the ugliest Mary Kay Consultant on earth, I learned about some freaky feet thing, I was waited on by the slowest, dumbest (but very nice) woman on earth, and I found two new candy bars. Not bad for a day's work.

14 comments:

mielikki said...

we should all have such a day. I have to find chocolate, now. . .

Azathoth100 said...

Sounds like a full day. Now I'll have to get the Mint for my girl and the Peanut Butter for me.

John McElveen said...

You may now die in peace anytime you like, for you have fulfilled and reached- "The Perfect Day"!!!

I'm envious as I still lacking in the Ugliest woman department and she was so ugly I don't know if I'll be able to survive to Ugliest one! Too much shock to the system.

Lmao- Love the line - what a Peppermint paty wants to be when it grows up! LMAO!!!! Thanks!

John

Joeymom said...

Wow- you changed your oil AND got to go grocery shopping. Wish I had days like that. I'm lucky to get through one or the other.

MarlaQuack said...

Sounds like a productive day to me.

Yesterday I spent 3 hours hiding in the bathroom to finish a stupid book I had started reading and was into.

radioactive girl said...

All I did yesterday was have a mammogram. I think you beat me by getting the yummy chocolate. I have been dying to try the Three Musketeers, and have never even heard of the other one (that I am now desperate to try)

PinkPiddyPaws said...

Minty Three Musketeers is an ABOMINATION and should be pulled off the shelf immediately. Why?? Why mess with perfection?? sigh...

And the fluffy Reese's? Gross!

Now... I'm curious to try the new Kit Kat with "caramel" but...at the same time.. it worries me. ha...ha..ha... :)

DT35 said...

You know, a small rectangle of electrician's tape over the service light will eliminate the necessity of waiting at the dealership -- though I'm not sure that you'd encounter the same superlative level of ugly at the Cheap Fast Oil Change Place.

Danielle said...

What kind of car do you have? My friend has a Honda that needs the light reset every time as well, but one of the oil guys at Big O Tires told her it is something anyone can do...You stick the ignition key into the lil slot on the dash next to the light, and it resets itself! You are so right about it being a scam- a ruse to get you to come to the dealership...
Kudos on the productive day. I was happy I was able to clear a false "Failure to appear" warrant, renew my driver's license, and make it to my last class in time. Now *I* need chocolate....

Lynn Price said...

Damn, when will I learn to slip on my Depends before reading your blog? Off to Home Depot for a new chair. Now...if I could only find a wedding to get me some gift cards.

Luka said...

I too have one of those lights that has to be reset. There is some trick to it...stomp on the gas pedal three times and spit out the window or something like that. Ask the dealer to tell you. That's how I found out. They forgot to reset it and had to tell me this top secret information.

I didn't care for the Reeses Whipped, but I am looking forward to the peppermint pattie Musketeers.

Anonymous said...

We just press and hold the oil button for ten seconds and it goes off. We reset the remainder of the settings the same way, except the odometer of course. Wish we could reset that.

Biz said...

If you haven't tried the "Moose Bar" that you can purchase at Target... I would make it a priority. Neatly hidden from society only those "in the know" have discovered them....I have a cousin that works for corporate Target, otherwise I too, would be lost.

Anonymous said...

Check your woner's manual---mine tells me how to turn off the light. It involves the full moon and chickens though.