Thursday, August 23, 2007

After the Viagra

We've all been tortured by the Viagra commercial with the middle aged guys sitting around singing about their conquests/dreams thanks to Viagra to the tune of "Viva Las Vegas".

What they don't tell you is what happens afterwards.

Because after the lovin' is gone, baby, here's what you are left with.

There's the woman who ripped out her boyfriend's testicle at a party and tried to swallow it. I especially like the part where she says,

"I am in no way a violent person."
Really? So ripping out his testicle was your idead of non-violent behavior? Holy Shit! Do not piss this girl off, guys!

Then there's the woman who set her ex-husband's genitals on fire. She was mad because he was
"drunk and half-asleep watching porn in the apartment they share."
Wow. can you imagine if every woman did that if their significant other watched porn? 3/4 of the penises in the country would go up in flames!

It's all fun and games and singin' like Elvis until somebody loses a.....well, you get the picture.

8 comments:

Cinnkitty said...

I saw the article about the woman snatching off the guys testicle a while back and I kept wondering... If they were at a party with friends when it happened, how the *HELL* did she get to his testicle? Was he running around with no pants on? Was it a group orgy going on and everyone was naked? Was he wearing a freakin' kilt? (it was in England..so you never know). I mean.. what the hell, right? Or did she just have nails so sharp that she shredded his khaki dockers and grabbed that ball in her tight little fist and yanked? huh?? huh??

But the kicker is the "attempted to swallow" it. I mean.. I know guys WANT us to swallow..but I don't think they want us to swallow their BALLS! Do you think that counts as cannibalism? Also...do you think it would be like eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? Hmmm...tastes like chicken. ha..ha..ha...

For the love of all things holy...ENOUGH with the Viagra commercials during our beloved Football games!!!!!!

Ron said...

Genitals on fire....
Old joke-
Q: Do you smoke after sex?
A: Dunno, I never looked.

Loving Annie said...

Weird side effect. Very weird.

Never gotten violent during sex. Course I don't take any drugs either... Is that what they call 'vanilla' ??? (LOL)

Thank goodness that the guy I'm dating now is 37 and hopefully when we finally DO IT, he won't need that !

Lynn Price said...

Good God, how do you find articles like this? Ain't it bad luck just seein' a thing like that?

As for those Viagra guys, they're really peeling out so they can meet up at the communal hot tubs.

Birdwell said...

I hope guys find a moral to those two news stories: women don't respond well to cheaters.

Bless My Heart and Pass the Prozac said...

"His sex organs took the heaviest blow," a nurse told the newspaper.

HAHAHAHA I am sorry but the wording in that last line I copied is hillarious.

NocturnalRN said...

Yes great stories. I wonder what would possess her to swallow the testicle. I mean what was she thinking ripping it off in the first place? but to swallow it? craaaaaazeeeee

MadMike said...

"Bright light city gonna set my 'penis' (?) on fire? Elvis would be rolling over in his grave.