Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Won-Ton Physics

The science of the Chinese Buffet:

Theorem: The number of times you will return to the buffet is directly proportional to the number of times you have to walk past the morbidly obese woman at the next table.

Corollary to the Theorem: The dessert item you choose will be the direct inverse of the item chosen by said woman.

Translation: After walking past the 450-lb woman in order to sit at my table, it was hard to talk myself into returning for a second plate. But I persevered. It is a buffet, after all! However, I had to walk past her again to get to the food. So by the time I got there, my "Oh my God I don't want to look like that" sense had kicked in and I ended up dishing up some soup and a won-ton. Dessert? Cantaloupe and pineapple. The owners of the Chinese food place made their money off me yesterday. Her? Not so much.

2 comments:

Mother Jones RN said...

I'll never be able to look at a Chinese Buffet the same way again.


MJ

Xavier Emmanuelle said...

If I'm having a bad junk food craving sometimes I'll go into the grocery store and stand in front of the item (chocolate, chips, oreos, etc.) that I want. For a minute or two I watch which people put that item in their shopping cart. Generally someone really unhealthy looking will walk by and pick it up, and that tends to cure the craving.