Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Night Shift Fitness

Anyone that has ever worked night shift knows that diet and exercise are very hard to keep up with (and even harder to get back on track with) because your eating habits suck (ie: scarfing down a burger in the 2 minutes you have before the next ambulance gets here) and you're too exhausted to go to the gym when you get off work. Now, when I used to smoke, I was skinny, because the "2-Minute Burger Scarf" was replaced by the "2-Minute Cigarette Scarf".

But now I'm trying to develop better habits so that I don't have an MI before I hit 50. This is what I'm doing.

1. I read Fitness Magazine (while I wait for my batch of Chocolate Chip Cookies to bake.)

2. I drink Diet Dr. Pepper (with my double cheeseburger). I don't eat fries (who the hell has room for fries after a double cheeseburger?)

3. My husband and I have turned our spare bedroom (which we never used because nobody ever comes to see us) into an exercise room. Now I have a treadmill and a really cool Smith cage, with which I can do almost every exercise I ever tried to do at the gym. (And I don't have to dry my comforters in the dryer. I can hang three up at a time now!)

4. When I take candy in for the staff to share, I always take the individually wrapped ones. That way, by the time I've unwrapped the first one, all of my co-workers have descended upon the bag like a horde of locusts, and there's only one more left. If they weren't wrapped, I could eat 10 or 15 before they were snatched from my grip.

5. Last, but not least, I've replaced all my Guinness with hard alcohol. It has less calories. (OK, not all my Guinness. A girl's gotta have something to look forward to sometimes!)


MarlaQuack said...

Well, I don't do the night shift I do the mom shift. I LOVE your excercise plan. I was lamenting today about my efforts at excercising and now I feel better about them. It does take so much energy to think about excercising.

Ambulance Driver said...


I'll share a diet tip with you. When eating those cookies, break them in half before you take a bite.

All the calories leak out onto the floor and you're left with guilt-free cookies. ;)

mom said...

I've told you not to drink anything stronger than oj. It will stunt your growth! That actually explains a lot doesn't it?

ERnursey said...

This is my fitness plan too, also if you drink a diet soda with your hot fudge sundae it cancels out the calories

Nicole said...

Reminds me of this one:

A guy sits at his desk with an orange soda, slice of banana bread, and some potato chips. He says, "are you getting YOUR 5 servings a day of fruit and vegetables?"