Monday, April 16, 2007

How about a shower?

So this chick comes in complaining of a rash (invisible, of course) and horrible pain all over after spilling gas on herself.

Gassy Chick: "I just need something for the PAIN!"

MonkeyGirl: "When did you spill gas on yourself?" (Note: Absolutely NO odor of gasoline detectable)

GC: "About 15 minutes ago! It hurts all over my arms, and it's burning and itching!" *sob*

MG: "Did you wash it off?"

GC: "No! It hurts too bad! I need something for the pain!" *swoon*

MG: "Where did you spill it?" (Note: no oily residue, redness, rash, etc... ANYWHERE within sight)

GC: "Right here! See? All over my arms! It's KILLING me!" *tears*

MG: "Well, if you think that this is an emergency, and not something that a shower will take care of, you can go ahead and have a seat and we'll get to you as soon as possible."

GC: "Can't you give me something for the PAIN while I'm waiting?"

MG: "Not until the Doctor sees you, ma'am. Sorry." (Not)

She was gone when we called her name 3 hours later. Guess the shower was calling her name after all......

1 comment:

Nurse Kelly said...

Differential:
Malingering vs. Factitious Disorder vs. Munchausens vs. hypochroniasis vs. delusional disorder vs. anxiety ...

ie The differential of many ER patients.