Saturday, May 12, 2007

Happy Fibromyalgia Awareness Day!

AD pointed out that today is National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. In honor of that, I have assembled a few links to help those who are afflicted *sniff* with this horrible *sob* disease.

Dr. Rodger Murphree, a nutritional specialist and chiropractor (hey, chiropracters are doctors, too, dammit!) has a website, Are Fibromyalgia Patients Crazy? that can give you all the answers. Well, some of the answers are on his website. The rest of the answers can be purchased for $145.95, and he'll include some fantastic vitamins.

The Fibromyalgia Network is available to help those who need a self-help support system. As their website says, "Fibromyalgia Network takes your pain, fatigue and brain-fog symptoms seriously!" For only $28.00 a year, you can receive reliable information and advice on coping. If you won't cough up the cash, you get bad information and they don't give a crap if you can cope or not.

There is also the "true" story of Maggie, at Breaking the Vicious Circle of Fibromyalgia. Read the moving story of a woman with absolutely nothing wrong with her, that was cured by the miracle drug EZorb, for just $39.95 a month! (EZorb, by the way, is 560mg of calcium).

You can also read about a scientific breakthrough that will save fibromyalgia victims safely and quickly! Activive helps you get "Reconnected To Your Inner Power Source, Plus You'll Be More Productive In Every Way Sexually and Financially!" You can read heartwarming, (or is it heartwrenching?) testimonials, and then order this fantastic cure for only $134.00! Better yet, if you belong to a family of malingerers, you can get the family pack for $335.00! What a fantastic deal!

Last, but certainly not least, we have the Fibromyalgia and Fatigue Center, conveniently located in a major metropolitan area near you. They have a revolutionary 6-step inpatient approach that, according to their testimonial page, has helped at least 7 people. (That's 1.67 people helped per step!) In case you don't live near a major metropolitan area, they even have a convenient "Out of Town Treatment Package". Ahh. Humanitarians.

I hope this has been helpful for all of those *sniff* fibromyalgia sufferers out there. And please, take it easy today. Maybe visit your local ER for some Vicodin or Percocet. It is, after all, YOUR day!


911DOC said...

brace yourself for the moonbat frenzy. you have opened a can of worms and people will call you names. not me, of course, but it's coming! i myself have developed a cure for fibromyalgia, it's called high speed transcortical lead therapy. it is, unfortunately, fatal, but does indeed relieve the pain wrought by this affliction on patients, loved ones, and caregivers.

MonkeyGirl said...

High Speed Trans-Cortical Lead Therapy is just a more specialized version of the Trans-Cranial Lead Enema, no?

I do so love the worms. I try to open a couple of cans of them every day. Keeps life interesting.

911DOC said...

i have not heard of the lead enema but i must mention here that is a bit of delicious irony that the cure for fibromyalgia, diagnosed from those pesky "trigger points" comes as the result of employing a different kind of "trigger point".

R said...


Nicely done.

Rory said...

you people have no idea just how terrible it is to wake up each day knowing that it will be fraught with unceasing pain and misery at 11/18 of my pain points! it's doubly terrible when no one understands that i really am allergic to tylenol, motrin, aleve, asprin and toradol! sob...sob...sob...etc...etc...etc...

sorry i must go, the man in curtain 3 with intractable pain from spinal mets secondary to colon cancer would like some pain medication for his non-psychosomatic disease... good day.

Anonymous said...

I have fibromyalgia as well. But my psych calls it "depression" and tells me to take my anti-ds, get plenty of regular sleep, exercise, and to eat right.

NARF! :(

Anonymous said...

I added you to my blogroll, Monkeygirl, if that's okay. You're too funny not to read every day.

ERnursey said...

Just another enabling label that makes it OK to not work and be a productive member of society but rather suck up disability and spend your days going from doctor to doctor in a never ending search for more narcotics

MarlaQuack said...

OMG! Well, once again my sick sense of humor is confirmed here. I was laughing so hard my Teen came running to see what she was missing. Doc911 and Monkey Girl thanks for brightening my day.


Anonymous said...

did you know that their is an actual book called "Fibromylagia for Dummies" ???????????? hoohaw!

AtYourCervix said...

Not everyone is a drug seeker, nor is fibromyalgia something to laugh about.

I have had quite a medical work up to rule out everything else under the sun that could be ruled out, before I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

It's not funny to have the pain and fatigue every single day.

BTW - I work fulltime as an RN in L&D, a very physically demanding job. I have never been on disability, except for my current medical leave from gastric bypass surgery. I do not go to the ER with my c/o chronic pain, nor do I use narcotic pain medications on a regular basis. In fact, I'd rather NOT use narcs at all. I use herbal and vitamin therapies that *I* have figured out on my own, via trial and error, to help reduce my symptoms.

Please don't lump all people with fibromyalgia in one group. It's a very real syndrome.

Anonymous said...


I'm going to assume that if you had gastric bypass surgery you must have been a bit overweight, no? Don't you think THAT could cause perhaps a bit of pain and fatigue? Hmmm? It does for me! Sorry, fibromyalgia still doesn't deserve "real disease" classification in my book.

AtYourCervix said...

Sorry that you feel that way BigRN.

However, your theory is shot out the window, since I have had fibromyalgia symptoms since I was 13 years old, and was a very healthy weight of 110-120 lbs.

I feel sorry for your patients who have fibromyalgia, and you don't believe it's a "real disease".

Anonymous said...

Wow..that was one of the most ignorant things I have ever read in my life. I normally find your blog highly amusing as I also work with idiots in my chosen profession, but this is just nasty.
I was diagnosed with fibro last year after seeing 4 different doctors and having a whole battery of tests. I am not depressed, overweight, or generally unhealthy. I exercise (which oddly does help a lot), work part-time, go to school full-time, maintain a household and am planninng a wedding. Hardly someone that is using this as an excuse to "not be a productive member of society". One thing that is found in most fibro patients that cannot be disputed is that we don't get the right amounts of deep sleep. I get less than 1/3 of what most people my age get eventhough I sleep as much, if not more than most folks (about 9 hours a night). Could that be part of the problem? Absolutely. Maybe it's not fibro, but that's what they're calling it right now. I wish to God it was something different. Maybe if it was something "real" in your eyes, at least it would have a decent treatment. Also, people with genuine fibro would NEVER go to an ER asking for meds. I have had 1 painkiller once in my life and I never want another one. (codeine=the devil) So please, before you start lumping people into a category, as I know it is SO easy to do, please remember that maybe just maybe there are people that are the exception to the rule.

911DOC said...

once you call it "fibro", well, i guess you have it. one day someone smarter than me may prove that there is a cause and a treatment that we can verify using white male european medicine techniques. in the meantime i will, doubtless, remain ignorant.

MonkeyGirl said...

Anonymous and atyourcervix;

I'm sorry you have health problems. I applaud the fact that you don't take large amounts of narcotics. I am disturbed, however, that you don't realize that this "disease" you have is one of the biggest scams that drug seekers have ever created. Good luck with your symptoms, and I hope you are able to continue being exceptions to the rule.

PS: I will continue to ridicule ALL drug seekers. I'm sorry it offends you.

Anonymous said...


I will continue to ridicule all drug seekers AND whiners! Who the hell among us is not exhausted and stressed all the time? Get over it...and "oddly enough"...exercise!
I didn't realize that all of the fibromylagia patients who came to the ER were only impersonating fibromyalgia patients and weren't the real deal!!!!

Nurse K said...

As I said on my own blog, fibromyalgia may or may not be just psychosomatic pain with a different name, but it's 100% of the time *NOT* an emergency.

So, if you're going to an ER for fibromyalgia pain, we reserve the right to roll our eyes and put your chart at the bottom of the to-be-seen rack.

Anonymous said...

Monkey girl, I dont have fibromyalgia an din fact I know not one person who deos, but i think the fact that your a nurse and that you get your humor at other people's expense tells me all I ever want to know about what kind of nurse you are.

Please dont knock the NURSE who is "At your cervix" She has been around the blog world for a long time and has earned alot of respect. You, on the other hand, get links for being FUNNY! Did you get that? Not for being compassionate, not caring, not showing any type concern whatsoever for your patients, but becuase you make fun of them...Congratulations! It must be great to know your job is nothing more than a joke to you.

MonkeyGirl said...

Anonymous; (Has anyone noticed that most of the offended parties can't even make up a fake name so we can tell them apart?)

I see many patients on a daily basis that receive plenty of caring, compassion and concern from me. I don't however, make fun of them on my blog, because they are REAL patients with REAL emergencies.

My job isn't just a joke to me, however, it is a never-ending source of things and people to mock.

PS: I'm glad people are linking to me because I'm funny. That is, after all, the reason I blog.

911DOC said...

i have had a revelation in reading these posts. i am an uncaring and jaded sorry excuse for a doctor. i quit.

Full-On-Forward said...

Top 10 Catch all disease Moneymakers- Not necessarily in order of GROSS Profits for drug companies, SOME Docs.

1. Anxiety/Depression
2. ADD
3. Fibromyalgia= FIB ?
4. Bi-polar Disorder
5. Acute Vistaril Insufficiency- Panic Attacks
6. Obesity- Gastic Bypas/Bariatrics
7. Coronary Bypass- Stents Work
8. Hysterectomies
9. Low Back Pain- Chronic with Normal MRI
10. Pregnancy.

Ok OK not Pregnancy- you can actualy HAVE a baby.

What did I miss? Don't get mad- my wife has had 8 out of 10 of these!

Tom McNamee said...

Monkey Girl, you rock! I've been out of medicine for 25 years now. The stress and pain are gone. The only thing I miss is hanging out with people who deliver professional care and searing sarcasm with equal vigor. Please keep this up until every 10/10 who lost his prescription after his wallet was stolen when he was trying to get to the dentist to fix the raw nerve hanging out... gives it up.

An Unhappy Charter Customer said...

I had a doc dx me with Fibromyalgia. He couldn't figure out the source of my aches and pains. Turns out I was seriously Vitamin D Deficient. I went to another specialist for an unrelated matter, the Doc looked at me and said "you don't have Fibro, you have Vit D Def." He ran the lab work, and my Vit D was low, very low, panic value low.

It is a shame that Docs can't admit when they don't know something and send you elsewhere to get help.

While they shouldn't go to the ER, I can understand the frustration and desire to find someone who can figure out what's going on.

katamari134 said...

If only everyone understood my trouble. I've tried and tried to explain to that receptionist that she should just run back and have the doctor write up a script for horse tranquilizers so I don't have to stagger back there in my pain.
My chronic fatigue syndrome is kicking in. I must go rest- they can't possibly understand how tired I feel. Oh, my non psychosomatic medical issues...

Jodi Lynne said...

Okay here is the deal, I just found this site. I was in soo much pain about 6 months ago, I went to my regular DR> (not ER for pain meds)...I had a migraine, my joints all hurt, elbwos, knees, back, knees...everything, I felt as if I had been hit by a truck, the truck backed up and hit me again. I am very seldom sick, work full tim as a Realtor, have four kids, am in good shape..thin,...etc.. The DR. gave me some flexeral for bedtime and wrote her diagonsis down on a piece of paper. Fibromyalgia. I was just like "Oh, yeah...sure." I thought the same thing. I was sure I just had a flu bug or something. It wasn't the flu. I have good days and bad. For example, I had a yard sale today, so last night I was up until 1 AM, slept 5 hours, got back up at 6, had the sale...I could nto move all of my joints locked up on me. I needed to sleep for 4 hours, let my body heal, and then I am better. a year ago this would not have happened. Sorry about the long blog. I thought I would tell you my story. I don't like taking drugs either...I don't do the flexerol...just regular Tylonol.

Lockheed said...

So... how about... LUPIS? ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey there. Been reading through your blog and enjoying it.

Gotta comment on this one, though. I agree with most of what you've said here and as a nurse for 20+ years, I know exactly what you mean.

I used to say much of the same things, until I came down with this; karma IS a bitch, I guess.

I was having severe pain, and it seemed to 'travel' from one area to another. I'd be working one night barely able to walk about due to the pain in my legs and back, then the next night I'd have pain in my arms and hands to the point I couldn't grip or type. It was debilitating and affecting me at work and at home.

My PCP suspected an allergy, but that was ruled out, so he sent me to a rheumatologist to r/o lupus, arthritis (even thought the pain wasn't in my joints but rather NEAR them), and such. All those things were ruled out, and he told me I had fibromyalgia.

My disgust must have showed quite plainly, because he went on to talk to me for a long time explaining how this truly did exist (although he agreed that it was over-diagnosed).

He said that it's diagnosed by symptoms and ruling out all other possible causes. He acknowledged that there are no diagnostic tests to prove it exists, but when his colleagues dismiss it an a "fake" ailment he asks them to prove headaches exist.

Interesting point.

In any case, I don't take anything for it. I have a very high pain tolerance. I've had an abruption; I worked a 12 hour shift with an abscessed bowel which perforated a couple of hours before the end of my shift (I went home, showered and returned to the ER for that one); I've had major abdominal surgery only to have an incarcerated then strangulated bowel later on (drove myself to the ER on that one too).

Not looking for any admiration for all of this, just pointing out that I'm not someone who easily gets sidelined with pain. If I stop and think about it, I can't remember the last time I wasn't in moderate to severe pain. But I just plug along.

I refuse to see a 'pain doc', and I refuse to take the meds offered me by the doc. I'm tempted at times (like now, as the pain woke me from my sleep in the middle of the night), but I KNOW how the medical and nursing community views these patients, and I simply refuse to add fuel to their fires.

Thanks for listening.

Anonymous said...

Oh Great and All-Knowing Monkey Girl, Bestower of Wit and Wisdom, I beseech your aid!
I have been in constant pain for the past FIFTEEN YEARS. Sometimes the pain is minor. Sometimes I can't even walk straight. I hobble around like a very old person because it hurts too much to walk normally. Over the counter medications such as aspirin, tylenol, advil, and alleve, do absolutely NOTHING to reduce or eliminate this pain. I get more therapeutic benefit from sugar than I do from these so-called medications. Stretching exercises help when the pain is minor, but when the pain is more than a little twinge, the stretching exercises make the pain even worse. The stretching muscle group is fine, but the opposing muscle group cramps up so badly that I scream in pain. I'm out of ideas. Oh Great and Wise Monkey Girl, how can I get this never-ending pain to go away?
I have been having sleep problems for the past FIFTEEN YEARS. I have trouble falling asleep. I frequently wake up in the middle of the night because of the pain, or because I'm too hot or too cold. I often wake up early in the morning and can't fall back to sleep. I try to get 8-10 hours of sleep a night. I manage to do so 3 or 4 days a week. But even on days when I do sleep 8-10 hours a night, I STILL feel worse (more tired and in more pain) than I did when I went to bed the night before! Oh, wise and powerful Monkey Girl, what should I do? Again, over the counter medications do not solve my problem. They either do absolutely nothing for me, or they make me too sleepy to do anything but sleep during the day. Please help me get a good night's rest! I'm so tired from not sleeping well. I have so little energy throughout the day. I'm afraid to drive because my ability to concentrate is so poor that I'm afraid I'll crash into someone and kill them. I've already had a few accidents. I really need to get some rest. Please, oh wonderful Monkey Girl, help me get some rest!
I work two part time jobs in the field of education. I take care of my ailing mother. I have never been to the emergency room looking for drugs. Since I am neither a malingerer nor a drug seeker, I cannot possibly have fibromyalgia. So what exactly is wrong with me? Oh wise oracle, Monkey Girl, please dazzle us with your wisdom!
In my opinion, your disdain for fibromyalgia patients is seriously misplaced. If you want to know who is responsible for perpetuating this "scam" of fibromyalgia, then LOOK IN THE MIRROR! You and your colleagues are too lazy to get up off your rear ends and figure out what is really wrong with people like me so you dump us into a "garbage" category and treat us accordingly. I don't care if you think my pain is caused by little green men from Mars. It's still PAIN and it is your job to treat it! I feel so sorry for your patients, having to deal with such an uncaring and judgmental "nurse".
Fibromyalgia Awareness Day is coming soon, Monkey Girl. How will you "celebrate" this year?

Anonymous said...

Well i must say this is the most hateful thing I have read in a long time. I am an RN, I work full time and have a family I take care of, I also happen to have fibromyalgia. I too see people with all types of "diseases" that come in to the hospital for drugs. Its not just fibro, there is back pain, abdominal pain, and many other sources. I understand your frustration with that type of patient. However, you must realize that there are people who truly do have fibromyalgia. I wish I didn't, I tried to talk myself out of it for years. The thing is that I eat right, execise, sleep plenty of hours, and am not overweight. I still have pain all the time. Some days are better than others, for no apparent reason. In spite of that I do not take narcotics and I am not on disability. I think if you were to do more research you would find that basically people with true fibro do not have sufficient delta sleep as well as having an increase of substance P. Most fibro sufferers have also had a trauma in their life, which is thought to cause this increase in substance P, this makes them very sensitive to all stimuli, especially pain. Above and beyond all of this, you are a nurse who is supposed to be caring and have some empathy. I get angry at drug seekers, but I also try to realize that not all people have had a rosy exsistence and have psych issues that are probably causing their physical manifestations of pain. I hope this makes a difference to you, it probaly won't because you will assume I'm just a nut job. Just keep in mind that someday it could be you or one of your loved ones who a nurse like you decides is a crappy drug seeker. What goes around comes around, and usually bites you on the ass.

... said...

No, actually, the primary function of ER nurses and doctors is NOT treating pain. I've participated in enough ATLS classes to know this... patients are seen in the ER for the following reasons:

1. Airway- is air going in and out of your mouth/nose/throat?

2. Breathing- is oxygen getting to your blood?

3. Circulation- is blood getting from your lungs to your organs?

4. Disability - are your organs functioning properly? Are your bones & muscles intact and located where they are supposed to be?

5. Environment - are you warm enough, cool enough, i.e. not going into shock?

Perhaps the pain is signaling a failure with one of the above systems. Perhaps not. Just something to remember next time you're driving yourself to the ER in 10/10 pain.

Anonymous said...

To be quite honest, I have the same symptoms of joint pain and them locking up and hot flashes blah blah blah!! Before you roll your eyes I don't think I have fibro, I had a hysterectomy, right after the symptoms started, so I think that's just part of life and the menapause thingy. I ignore it usually. I have trouble bending, and sitting on the floor, I don't take any meds, I just try not to bend if I don't have too and I do not have to sit on the floor unless I have too.

Anonymous said...

People with Fibromyalgia are almost as crazy is people who want to help people, including ER healthcare professionals:)

Surviving Fibromyalgia said...

Have any of you ever noticed that when you make fun of something or say it won't happen to me, that it will. Well those of you idiots who do not believe in fibromyalgia, watch out. You will be the next to be diagosed with it. You will start aching all over, have chronic fatigue and hurt in different places so bad that it will make you throw up. I would rather have fibro than cancer or some terminal illness so if I were all of you that have an attitude and do not want to believe it is a real problem, I would keep my mouth shut. I guess because your self esteem is so low, you have to put others down and make fun of them to make yourself feel better. How sad.

Anonymous said...

Guess I'd rather have fibromyalgia, be in pain as I have been for nearly 30 years, NOT take meds, NOT take disability, take care of my family and be a decent, compassionate human being rather than be someone like you.

Bite me.

Anonymous said...

I guess I should have added a couple of more things before I posted the last one.

Want to tell me, too, that my child is not autistic? There are no conclusive blood tests to prove that he is. Just intelligence tests. Therefore he must just faking it so he can be a drain on society and the educational system. Right?

It's people like you, with your narrow-minded attitudes that would have had him institutionalized 50 years ago rather than giving him a chance to learn and make the best he could out of a condition he had no control over.

There are lousy doctors (and nurses), just as there are low life's who will fake an illness in order to get drugs they want (WANT, not NEED).

You and your brilliant deductions belong in the dark ages. You don't understand something so it's easier to insult and degrade than it is to learn and cure.

If I were you, I'd be hoping and praying YOU never wind up with this. Although your arrogance would never allow you to admit you were wrong, would it?

Barbara56 said...

I guess I'm just another crazy according to monkeygirl. I have not even gone to a Dr. for fibro but I am pretty sure I've had it for at least 11 years. I raised 5 kids, worked, rehabbed a number of falling down houses, snow skied, hiked, very active and always stayed in shape. BUT I suffer from most of the symptoms and it's gotten worse in the last several years. My muscles in my neck, shoulders and arms tend to ache the most and are VERY sensitive. I am always asking my husband to not try to grab my arms at all-it hurts! I also have had to really work at getting sleep -I wake up feeling uncomfortable, etc. My whole 'syndrome' seems to be affected by the amount of sleep I get. If I am really deprived, I ache and feel stiff. I will many times massage my arms and neck which seems to give a little relief. Incidentally, my symptoms started sometime into a long drawn-out custody battle my ex started after I refused to go back with him. This was an extremely stressful time in my life. If anyone knows anyone who has gone through a vicious custody battle -you know what it's about. Ours lasted over 2 years with broken promises that went on for 7 or 8 years. I know I thought chronic fatigue syndrome was extremely lame when I heard about it years ago. But this is real and it is affecting me to the point that when we have health insurance again (another sad story), I will be bringing it up to a doctor. Thank you all for informing me that there are apparently doctors out there that will think I'm just a big cry baby. Good to know -thank you. I'm actually a pretty tough person for a 120 lb., 52 yr. old, hang'n in there woman. I agree with 'Anonymous' very much. How sad that medical people think we're losers. I'm going out to rake my yard, transplant a few things and trim the bushes. I know I will pay for it for probably a few days. Just know that I and many others are carrying on -it's just in pain and extremely sleep deprived. Thanks for your care and concern there!