Friday, July 11, 2008

Superheroes

Just in case you were wondering, if you are a 41 year old man, and you drink a bottle of bourbon, smoke a joint or two, and try to break into your ex-wife's house (who has a restraining order against you).........

........your Spider-Man underpants will not help you win the battle against the three very big cops, each with a Taser and pepper spray. Especially once they use said Tasers and pepper spray.

In addition, your Spider-Man underpants will not protect you from the nurse with a B-52. (I can just pull them down.)

And finally, when you are unconscious and snoring from all the chemicals in your bloodstream, your Spider-Man underpants will not protect you when you pee yourself.

Congratulations, you're a Superhero.

12 comments:

Elaine said...

Chortle!

Michael said...

rotflmao.

Unknown said...

The web, dude!
You have to use the web to block the tasers!
He better wear his Captain America skivvies next time he goes drinking.

Anonymous said...

That pee is going to cause a nasty spider-web-like rash in the private area...pee ewwww! That should have you crawling up the wall!

scalpel said...

He should have worn the Superman undies. Duh.

Old NFO said...

/snicker- Gotta love the visual of a 40+ year old stupid enough to wear them... Idjits... ;-)

CrankyProf said...

What about Spongebob underpants? Any restorative effects there?

I already know that my Darth Vader pants invest me with badassitude.

My Own Woman said...

Hey..at least they're probably better than the Barbie panties he had on the day before.

Anonymous said...

Underroos? He had underroos? Do they make adult spiderman underpants? Hmmmm...

Don said...

YAAAAAAY!

I'M A SUPERHERO!

YAYY!

Nurse K said...

I don't understand why you keep "anonymizing" my ex-husband. Everyone knows you're talking about him. Sheesh.

911DOC said...

i think i just took care of this guy today? is he out of jail already or did the cops just write him a ticket and drop him on you guys? obtw, spitting on me is considered poor form and WILL, in fact, cause me to file an assault charge against you.