Sunday, April 20, 2008

Quotes of the Week

From the drunk schizophrenic chick as I straight cathed her for a urine sample, "Oh, hell no, you bitch! Get out of my mother f&%$ing bladder!"

From the gang-banger who had a run-in with Sumdood when he was out just minding his own business with his buddies: "Oh, man! My momma's gonna kill me when she finds out I got shot again!"

From the sweet little old lady with the complete heart block who couldn't even sit up without becoming symptomatic: "I hate to be a bother for you girls. I'm sure sorry I couldn't wait to go to the doctor in the morning."

People are funny.


Medic 61 said...

Ugh, brilliant. That kills me.

I have to admit, though, the "get out of my bladder" bit was the highlight of my night.

Okay, so my night hasn't been very exciting, but that's okay, I still laughed a lot.

Anonymous said...



Tex said...

Gotta love them LOLs....They don't ask for much, but you go out of your way to give 'em more attention>

RehabNurse said...

Damn! And I'll bet Somedood got him while he was minding his own business at the bus stop.

That was the excuse 2 out of 3 GSWs had on our unit last year. I know gas is high, but they can't all be riding the bus.

I miss Somedood. Now that I'm working for Uncle Sam, most of my current GSWs shot themselves, accidentally, in drunken brawls with the trailer people they live with in certain mountainous areas of the mid-South.

Occasionally we get real heros (like from Iraq, Afghanistan) but not lately.

Heidi said...

As a Respiratory Therapist I hear the damnest things too...

The ER Rocks!

JBi said...

@drunk schizo - "iz in ur bladder, stealin ur P"

MonkeyGirl said...

"iz in ur bladder, stealin ur P"


Rogue Medic said...

Surprising knowledge of anatomy for being both drunk and schizophrenic.

NY pharmacy intern said...

I can believe the little old lady, I've got a great aunt like that.

The gang-banger was probably "minding his own business", in his drug dealing busisness. Your mother has a right to be pissed and probably whoop you good with a comment about getting shot, again.