Saturday, March 8, 2008

Mmmmm..... donuts!


Last week, while perusing the selection of deodorants at the local Mart of Wal, I discovered that Secret comes in a lovely French Vanilla flavor. Since I'm not one for the girly smells and baby powder smell should be outlawed on anyone between the ages of 2 and 80, I figured, "What the hell? Let's try it."

Now, I don't want to shatter anyone's dainty image of me, but when I'm at work, I sweat. (Something about running my ass off for 12 hours.) Well, with my new deodorant, when I sweat, I'm enveloped in a pleasant cloud of French Vanilla.

Anyhoo, at about 0300 last night, I was involved in the workup of a nursing home patient that came in for AMS. (Altered Mental Status, for those of you non-medical-acromym-using types.) After cleaning off the layers of poo that could be read like tree rings, and putting in the Foley that diagnosed her AMS with its butterscotch pudding-like appearance, we got to work trying to get an IV in her horrendously sucky veins.

As I was blowing my second attempt in her thumb while someone else was blowing veins on the other side, (no, I didn't get it. Bragging rights belonged to him last night) all of a sudden the LOL opened her eyes and said, "Oooh, something smells gooood!"

I laughed and said, "That would be me." ( I was mostly joking; I always say that.)

She said, "No, it smells like something I want to eat! Like... like..... donuts!"

At that point I laughed even harder, because I realized she really was talking about me.

She closed her eyes and drifted back into her happy place while we poked holes in her upper extremities, and after another 10 or 15 minutes, when we were finally almost done, she opens up her eyes again and says, "I sure wish I could have a bite of whatever it is that smells so good!"

I wonder if she would have said that if she had known it was my armpits?

11 comments:

Kacey said...

Love French Vanilla! Do they have one that makes you smell like a Strawberry Blizzard? M-mmmm

Nurse K said...

I have a vanilla-scented car tree thingy and one of my friends insists it smells like baby vomit.

MonkeySister said...

Thank you. Very funny. The picture of Homer was confusing at first, now seems appropriate.

And now I'm strangely hungry...

kvegas911 said...

I have a thing for the green apple car stuff, myself. One of my friends has it in her patrol car and everyone she arrests says it smells "girly" in there. *snort*

Joeymom said...

It also comes in Chai. Yum, yum. Goes great with my sandalwood soap.

GuitarGirlRN said...

I used to use a vanilla-scented hand cream back when I had a desk job (moist hands don't get papercuts!).

It was thick and creamy and eventually I had to get rid of it because I craved creme brulee every time I used it and I was getting really fat. And I actually considered tasting it a couple of times.

Oh, and uh--THANKS for that "butterscotch pee" reference. So much for one of my favorite pudding flavors. Gak.

John McElveen said...

My wife used Vanilla Lace from Victorias Secret. I'll never forget that Beatiful smell. then she passed on.

John McElveen said...

to using some Generic crap, cause we're poor!! Gotcha didn't I- come on--fess up??????
OK- well it's daylight savings time so you work an hour les tonight, or the Eqinox got in my eyes or my Haldol...

nite

J

girlvet said...

poo and tree rings! hahahahhahahaha

RehabNurse said...

A friend of mine makes soap and she makes vanilla. One friend who works OR wanted some to scent a locker at work so it would "smell like fresh baked cookies." Guess I should pass along the donut analog.

I like Dove's cooling deodorant--green tea and cucumber. No one has accused me of smelling like salad, although it does have a nice scent.

Gotta love Homer...he's the hero of the nuclear industry! :)

boredmedstudent said...

You should try Secret's peach scent deodorant, can't remember the exact name of the scent.. it smells like peach schnapps. :)