Tuesday, February 12, 2008

2 of 5

Today was a Royal Chestpainapalooza. Not real Chest Pains, but "Holy Shit! Look at these 30 other equally not sick people in the lobby waiting to be seen! I suddenly have Chest Pain!" Chest Pains.

Not necessarily in any order:

58 y.o. male CP- actually neck pain from a pinched nerve for 3 days.

62 y.o. female CP/SOB- diagnosed with bronchitis 3 days ago, O2 sats 97%, chronic back pain patient whose PMD cut off her Lortab supply exactly 28 days ago.

85 y.o. female from the nursing home with CP- she hasn't been able to sleep for three nights because her new roommate snores, so she told them she had chest pain so that they'd send her here. She wants to be admitted so she can get some sleep.

48 y.o. male CP/ left arm pain/ jaw pain- Flu. Lied about slightly exaggerated the arm and jaw pain to get back.

92 y.o. female CP/left shoulder pain- torn rotator cuff x 2 years. Not a candidate for surgery, here for a fourth (or maybe fifth) opinion from the ER doc. No one to refer her to; she's already seen all the ortho guys in town. Full cardiac workup because of her presenting lie complaint and an abnormal EKG because she's, um, old.

56 y.o. female CP- her CP miraculously disappears and becomes ankle pain once she's in the bed. Ankle pain.



DrShroom said...

I guess this is an international trick. At one hospital I worked at, the young guys with 'personal' problems would all book in with chest pain, knowing they'd get bumped up...

MY OWN WOMAN... said...

Hmmm...did you just send all those patients from your ER to mine?

Joeymom said...

Wow, I felt bad when my chest pain turned out to be something called "costochondritis" and I felt like I had wasted everybody's time for nothing when there were real sick people to look after. People who do that on purpose really suck.

Couldn't that lady just sleep in the waiting room?