lady female patient: Need urine for a UA and UDS (drug screen).
Escort patient to the restroom.
Explain explicitly the process for obtaining urine, expecting drunk to be unable to perform task, which will require her to be cathed by me later, anyway.
After five minutes, concerned (well, wondering, anyway) for her well-being, knock and enter bathroom to find.....
Totally naked drunk woman squatting on the floor and peeing into the cup, which is placed with absolutely perfect positioning directly between her legs.
Continue observing in shocked disbelief as drunk woman fills the cup to the top without spilling a single drop, picks it up and sets it on the counter.
Assist patient with replacing gown and escort back to
room curtained cubicle.
Sunday, September 16, 2007