Sunday, September 16, 2007

Voiding Drunks

Drunk lady female patient: Need urine for a UA and UDS (drug screen).

Escort patient to the restroom.

Explain explicitly the process for obtaining urine, expecting drunk to be unable to perform task, which will require her to be cathed by me later, anyway.

After five minutes, concerned (well, wondering, anyway) for her well-being, knock and enter bathroom to find.....

Totally naked drunk woman squatting on the floor and peeing into the cup, which is placed with absolutely perfect positioning directly between her legs.

Continue observing in shocked disbelief as drunk woman fills the cup to the top without spilling a single drop, picks it up and sets it on the counter.

Assist patient with replacing gown and escort back to room curtained cubicle.


Duckie said...

Im guessing she has had practice? lol. Funny story

mielikki said...

were you dreaming?
Is that really possible?
I hope you circled the day on the calendar.

NYC EMS said...

I dont believe you.

Angry Nurse said...

Impressive, but can she write her name in the snow?

MonkeyGirl said...


I didn't believe it either. Nonetheless, it occurred exactly as I described it. I didn't even HIPAA-ify it.

I'm telling you, it was impressive.

Nurse K said...

A little while back, I had a drunk guy try to arc the piss across the room into a urinal and...that didn't work so well. Maybe your patient can run some sort of drunk obedience training school.

SeaSpray said...

I'm jealous and impressed! I have been doing that for 21 months for my urologist and I STILL have not finessed that!

Maybe I should go to his office drunk so I can hit the whizzie winkle target perfectly??? ;)