Friday, September 21, 2007

Liars and Cheats

I suppose you could just call me gullible, but I believe Floyd Landis. I always have. I'm totally bummed out (though not surprised) that he lost his arbitration case.

I guess it's because I really dig the "hero" theme. You know, the come-from-behind win and all that. I was also in denial about Alexander Vinokourov this year when he cheated, because of the incredible heart he showed (not to mention the incredible stupidity of cheating in such a detectable way.)

It's much easier to believe that Barry Bonds or Bill Belichick cheated, because they're such pompous jackasses. I don't like them, therefore, anything bad that is said about them must be true.

It makes me think, though. Aren't we like that in the ER, too? If you're a jerk demanding Lortab and a work note, we're more likely to believe that you're a drug seeker than if you're polite and request the same. But in all actuality, personality is not the best indicator of drug seeking. The good drug seekers are more like the polite guy than the jerk. That's why they're good.

So make a note of it, Migraineurs, Fibromyalgeurs, Non-Specific Abdominal Paineurs, Non-Cardiac Chest Paineurs, Dental Paineurs, Meth Armpit Abscesseurs, et al...... If you're nice to us, you're much more likely to get your fix therapeutic interventions. We'll fall for your act much faster (and for much longer) if you're polite.

Call it a reward for good behavior.

5 comments:

CrankyProf said...

You forgot the hemmorhoideurs...

Special Sauce said...

I still really want to believe him too. He was a nice guy in high school*, and I'd like to think he's a nice guy now, so I'm really kinda disappointed by this whole thing. You're right about Belicheck and Bonds and your average drug seeking type nimrod- they're easy to hate, but Floyd? Not so much...

*Note- we rode the bus together, it's not like we were best buds or anything.

William the Coroner said...

I've always hated the "be nice to people and they'll do what you want" theory of life, as it's quite manipulative and treats people as a means to an end.

But it's just common sense.

girlvet said...

I love the -eurs. We be inventin' our new language....

Loving Annie said...

Being polite works wonders... Maybe because we assume they are a more decent person/intelligent if they are well-mannered ?

Finding a professional athlete cheating is both disappointing and yeah, you've got to wonder at the stupidity of it. Like they think thier every move isn't being scrutinized ? puhleeze...

Don't KNOW if Landis really did or not. But the media has now made sure his image is ruined. That sort of taint never really gets erased.