Saturday, July 14, 2007

Punny Stuff

A friend of mine emailed me the "Knick Knack Patty Whack" joke. I haven't read it for a while, but it always makes me laugh, so I sent it on to my daddy.

He responded with just one line; "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?" It was enough. I had the tune from "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" in my head all night long.

Today he cemented his win in the corny joke-off with this email:

After Quasimodo's death, the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and after several applicants demonstrated their skills, he had decided to call it a day.

Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The Bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man. "Observe!" And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.

The Bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned Bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the Bishop through, one of them asked: "Bishop, who was this man?". "I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied "....but his face sure rings a bell."

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the Bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."

The Bishop agreed to give the man an audition and as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he moaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot. The monks, hearing the Bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

"What has happened? Who is this man?" the first monk asked breathlessly. "I don't know his name," sighed the distraught Bishop, "...but he's a dead ringer for his brother." (Ba-dum-bum)

This just goes to prove that my retarded sense of humor is genetic.


Loving Annie said...

heh=heh-heh. Those were good. Heh-heh.

And I love Glenn Miller songs !!!!! Yeayyy for the good old days (before I was born of course)

Anonymous said...

Speaking of QuasiMoto....

Snow White, Rip Van Winkle, and QuasiMoto all went to the Guiness Book of World records office to prove their claims.

Snow White contended that she was the fairest, Rip that he took the longest nap, and Quasi that he was the ugliest and most hideous person alive.

Later on that day Snow White and Rip were happily leaving the office....Snow White saying 'I KNEW I was the fairest girl in the land' and Rip 'I KNEW I took the longest nap on record'.

Poor QuasiMoto was in a deep funk.He was not judged to be the ugliest person alive. He bitterly spat out........'Who the Hell is Rosie O'Donnell??!!'


Detail Medic said...

You kill me. We have a medic who is known for her corny jokes. I'll pass these on! Hers from last night:

Why don't ardvarks get sick:
Because they're full of anty-bodies

Vitum Medicinus said...

I agree that there must be some genetic component to humour (or at least strongly environmental). I'm across the country from my dad for school, and have been for a several years now, but EVERY TIME I see him there's always a few times where we'll respond to a situation with the exact same joke... using the exact same words and intonation... at the exact same time. Whenever that happens we always both respond by freaking out.

mielikki said...

huh. My Dad and I also have a very similar sense of humor. I'm seeing a pattern here. . .

John said...

Isn't it amazing that people in Medicine in general have this type of warped sense of humor. Other people just stare at you and walk off. I had heard the face rings a bell--but never the follow-up of dead ringer for is brother!

I will get a lot of mileage out of that one! Thanks for passing it on!!

Laughing in SC


RevMedic said...

What do you call a sterile cow (one that can't have baby cows)?


TattooedIntellectual said...

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get offa my cloud". The Scotsman says, "Hey, McCloud, get offa my ewe".

The really sad part is when you have to stop and explain that one to people.

beajerry said...

I've heard the first part, but never the second.