Thursday, July 19, 2007

Freakin' Pansies

I'm a bit of a Tour de France freak. MonkeyHusband's fault.

Anyway, if you don't watch cycling (which is all of you), then you don't know that Alexander Vinokourov's chain snapped in a freak accident in stage 5. He went down hard, tore up both his knees, an elbow and a hip. Then he got back on his bike and finished the stage.

That night he went to the hospital, got his knees and elbows sutured, and afterward, hurt so bad he couldn't walk out of the hospital.

The next morning, he got on his bike and took a 124-mile ride through the foothills of the Alps. What did he do the day after that and the day after that? He proceeded to climb the Alps on a bicycle. With his torn up knees and hip and elbow.

And when he's hurting so bad that he wants to cry, what does he do? He drops back to the doctor's car, and they give him some Motrin. Because he can't take any pain meds or he'll have to drop out!

How many of you have had a patient request Lortab and a work note for a headache? Or a hangnail? Or a sore throat, for crying out loud? I have. Pretty much every day!

Freakin' pansies. We need to re-do the pain scale.

"On a scale of 0-10, 0 being no pain, and 10 being Alexander "The Freakin' Stud" Vinokourov riding over the Alps with torn up arms and legs, how would you rate your broken fingernail, you drug-seeking leech?"

And there will be no work notes. Pansies.

*This post was edited to make my mommy happy. Please mentally replace the "freakin's" and the "pansies" and such with the correct cuss words in order to fully appreciate how strongly I feel about this. Thank you.

16 comments:

Mother Jones RN said...

Come on, MonkeyGirl, I know why you're hooked on the Tour de France. Hot guys! Muscles + Spandex = Eye Candy.

MJ

MonkeySister said...

I'm sure Mommy will be very happy. What a good little monkey.

I watched the entire Tour last year but have only watched a few stages this year. I decided though, that it's kind of like a police car chase... You only watch to see if they crash or to see if any of the spectators will try and take them out.

Loving Annie said...

Now THAT is steel huevos ! Drive, determination, guts, courage, class...

MedStudentGod (MSG) said...

I hate the pain scale. 10 out of 10 pain or higher always makes me want to call the person a liar. I've started to tell them that a 10 would be them unable to sit still and crying and screaming. Not just sitting there. They don't ever budge, but at least they know I don't buy it.

matt said...

WHAT!! No work note???

Anonymous said...

Two words for ya: Tyler Hamilton.

(Yeah, some of us watch Le Tour!)

-PT Student

John said...

Love the Tour de Lance- France-- I can only catch bits and pieces but watch I do! Mega BALLS to even be able to Pedal up a slight incline- but a friggin MOUNTAIN with roadrash, scrapes , pains, lactic acidosis, and a WEDGIE????

Damn he's tough!

John

Anonymous said...

Look what I found while trying to find a pic for my blog, it reminded me of youso I thought I would share...

http://www.teachablemoments.com/images/photos/julious_nurse

Surfie said...

Hee! Here's me after, I think it was 14 stitches.

I waited for about 1 hour in the ER that night and went home (low on the triage totem pole).

Came back at 7:30 a.m., got my tetanus, stitched up, and came home with some Motrin and Keflex.

Pussies, indeed!

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v257/SurfieTX/?action=view¤t=000_0006.jpg

Surfie said...

Try this.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v257/SurfieTX/000_0006.jpg

Cinnkitty said...

Preachin' to the choir sister! Freakin' pansies everywhere you turn. I know folks that actually have their alarms set so they'll know when to take their next dose of pain medication. Whether they need it or not!

Me?? I sat through three hours of tattoo work on my lower back and spine and made nary a peep, while the bleach blonde bimbo in the next room squealed like a pig on slaughter day for an outline of a little butterfly on her hip. She actually drew blood by clutching her boyfriends arm so tightly. Puh-Leez!!!! Suck it up Chuckles!

ha..ha..ha.!

Surfie said...

Last comment, I promise.

That's my inner thigh.

Anonymous said...

And before Vinokourov there was Floyd Landis completing the whole tour with severe AVN of his hip.

And imagine, no Lortab, hillbilly heroin or MS contin on board.

bohica said...

http://www.teachablemoments.com/images/photos/julious_nurse

I accidently left this as "anonymous" earlier and do not want to be lumped with that group of people, I have read some of their blogs....

Joeymom said...

When I was having my first child, the nurse burst out laughing when I rated the labor pain a "6". Aparently there is a machine thy had me hooked up to to measure the contractions, and the pitocin makes them really strong. So you would have thought when, after the baby was born ad my gall bladder went bad, and I was telling them teh pain was a 10, they would have been more observant... but I had a different nurse. :P

Anonymous said...

The thing is, even without the crashes it is so hard, Vino is just the latest in a long line of bike riders with equipment that would make an elephant walk with a swagger. (Yes I am a bikie, yes I have ridden 3 mountain stages of the tour de France in the etape de tour and YES IT HURTS, considerably more than any of the marathons I have run)