Sunday, July 29, 2007

Equipment Malfunction?

It's not an uncommon occurrence for us to only have one or two rooms with fully functioning cardiac monitors and working equipment on any given night. We spend a ton of time stealing pieces from one room for the room next door, and then trying to find somewhere to steal more for the room that we stole from to begin with. It's a vicious cycle.

But last night, I had an equipment malfunction that was so unexpected that I stopped for about 3 seconds in complete shock before my brain started working again.

I was hooking up the new patient in bed 4 to the monitor, having stolen the 3-leads from bed 3 and the BP cuff from bed 5, and as I reached over the back of the gurney to hook up the O2.......

...... the underwire of my bra got hooked on the bed's IV pole (which was obviously not fully extended) and as I stepped back, my boobs popped out like a can of refrigerator biscuits when you pull the pull tab.

Now, I don't mean all the way out, there was still a scrub top between the girls and the world, but my underwire was stuck, and by default, so was I. So I wiggled a bit, and stood up on tip-toe, and just about when I was about to cry from embarrassment because I was going to have to ask for help getting free.....

....the damn IV pole finally released me. At which point I had to get the girls back in their flopper stopper without flashing the little old man who might not have been having an MI prior to getting here, but sure the hell was going to if I fell half naked in his lap!

So with a shimmy and a tug, I got 'em back inside the headlight hider, and after I finished getting him settled, I ran for the can like I had a case of Cranky Prof's ass-plody so that I could adjust them correctly.

I can honestly say I now feel sorry for those girls that have their boobies pop out on the dance floor. It is not an experience I'd care to repeat.


SuperStenoGirl said...

Oh wow, that got me laughing! That poor lil old man.. I bet he had his hopes up there for a moment ha ha ha!

I got my bra hooked on the pommel of the saddle as I was falling off my horse one time (I've fallen off more than once) just after completing my turn in the junior rodeo barrel racing. *sigh* To make matters worse, it happened right in the arena, right infront of the bull pen.. right in front of all the cute older cowboys waiting for the bull riding event.

I feel your anguish. I duct taped mine down for a while ha ha!

Whichendbites said...

Sounds like you have a problem with efficient use of resources. I'll bet management are always telling you that you have enough and should use it better etc etc .
I like refrigerated biscuits.

where was I ?

Oh yes, I'm sure that the management always have sufficient equipment ready for you to do your job and that you are never lacking in technical support when itis needed. But then it gets dark and almost everyone else goes home. Wonder what happens then ?

RugbyGirlMD said...

"popped out like a can of refrigerator biscuits"
is both eloquent and oh so evocative!

You nearly got coffee on my monitor.

The IV pole was not a hazard I had considered.
Thanks for the forewarning!

Miranda5 said...

You crack me up.

Incidentally, we had a pt the other day who told the night shift LOTS of naughty stories about the 3/11 nurse with blonde hair.

I'm the only one on the unit with blonde hair. Of course, I'm a secretary, but what did he know?

Apparently we had quite the fling. I do a lot of hands-on help with the pts with our nurses, since they are so busy and I'm...not (don't tell House!).

Anyway, he kept grabbing my butt and peeping down my shirt. I'm wearing a cami from now on. Frankly, we were glad to see he was feeling better, so we could ship him to the floor.

bohica said...

How funny! I had an experience like that once when I was still in the ICU. THe ER had brought up a patient that had attempted to hang himself and survived. Me and the 2 house supervisors, the er nurse, tech and my charge nurse (all of which were guys) were transfering the pt from the er stretcher to the icu bed (he was a pretty large guy, still unresponsive and pretty much dead weight). While we were pulling him across, there was a loud sound that sounded like a rifle report, the front closing bra I was wearing was under pressure and it popped open, extremely loudly and out the girls come, and everyone stops as the guy is halfway across the bed and I just want to die, to this day if the suervisors are helping out, I am not allowed to "strain" to move patients over, I might put someon's eye out next time.

Loving Annie said...

Happy Monday to you, Monkeygirl,
Thank goodness the patient wasn't eyeballing your assets and snickering at your adjustments !
Talk about unexpected malfunctions - yikes !

Mark said...

Ummmmmmm, well, I errrrrrmmmmm ahhem, uuhhhhh, I'll take the Fifth Amendments and exercise my right not to incriminate myself.

mielikki said...

LMAO. That underwire can be vicious. I've had a few malfunctions myself, but none that rival that one! My girls stay well housed for the night, I cause enough trouble in the daylight hours!

girlvet said...

You're brilliant...hahahahhaha

Anonymous said...

"my boobs popped out like a can of refrigerator biscuits when you pull the pull tab"

The visual and accompanying sound in my head caused a nasal explosion of liquid to fill the screen.

This one's going to stick with me for the day

Pharmacy God said...

How come that never happens when I take my kids to the ER?

Maybe I'm going to the wrong ER.

911DOC said...

two questions:
1. are they real?
2. are they fabulous?

reference? anyone?

MonkeySister said...

Teri Hatcher on Seinfeld, of course. Too easy!

MadMike said...

Now this is some interesting reading! Scary for a non medical type like me but interesting and humorous in a dark sort of way. I can actually appreciate that as I spent a lifetime in law enforcement. Great blog.

Mandy said...

I just laughed until I cried, snorted, and got an, "Are you all right," query from my husband.