But Ma, everyone's doing it...

I've had fun reading this meme that's circulating lately, but I wasn't going to do it until my best friend from high school e-mailed it too me, too. Since she never asks me for anything.......

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I don’t remember. If I cry, run. It means I’m furious.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING ?
Nope.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Peanut Butter and Jelly.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
A 5-year-old stepdaughter. My uterus is for decorative purposes only.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes. I would not, however, be enemies with me.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Sarcasm is just one of the useful tools in my bitch arsenal.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yup.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Nope.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Fruity Pebbles. I can eat a whole box in one sitting. That’s why I don’t buy them.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No. Shoelaces are decorative. They should be tied loosely enough to allow the easy ingress/egress of my foot into and out of the shoe they are decorating.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yup.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Any variation of Chocolate, Brownies and Fudge.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether or not they are whining at me to do something for them.
15. RED OR PINK?
Red. Pink is a color invented by the devil to torment me.
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My lack of motivation. I’d be rich and retired if I had any motivation at all. Anyone want to come vacuum my living room?
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
H.T.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Whatever. I rarely lose sleep over what other people do.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Green scrubs and Crocs.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Steak and shrimp shish kebobs.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
A waiting room full of people whining “Can you tell me when I get to go back?”
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Blue. Not Cornflower, Not Cerulean, Not Aquamarine, Not Indigo, Not Denim, Not Sky, Midnight, Turquoise, Navy, Pacific, or Robin’s Egg Blue. Just Blue. What the hell is Crayola thinking?
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Fresh cut alfalfa, fresh baked apple pie, the smell of an imminent downpour.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Some dumbass who wanted to know if she should bring her sick kid in to the ER. I don’t know. Why don’t you put the phone up against the part that hurts so I can hear it. Hmmm. That sounds serious. You better bring him in.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yup. She’s the only person from high school that I’m still in contact with. Literally.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football is the best, but I’ll watch anything but NASCAR. NASCAR isn’t a sport. And arena football isn’t really football.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Clairol Hydrience #34
28. EYE COLOR?
Blue.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope. Too lazy.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Bacon Cheeseburger. Loaded. And a Guinness.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Bombs and guns matter. Scary don't matter. Endings don't matter.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The Departed. The ending sucked.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Green scrub top.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter. I hate the sun.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Chocolate Soufflé with Grand Marnier Sauce.
37. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
A Meeting at Corvallis by S.M. Stirling
38. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
A cool gel pad thingie.
39. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT?
Tiger Woods playing golf. It’s fascinating. I couldn’t turn it off.
40. FAVORITE SOUND?
Thunder.
41. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Metallica.
42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME/HERE)?
I’ve never been anywhere good.
43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
The ability to piss off anyone. Anyone.
44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
The Republic of California

There. More information than you ever wanted or needed to know about me. Now leave me alone.