Monday, May 14, 2007

Babysittin' the drunks

It's my day off. I'm reluctantly doing housework, laundry, etc. With so little time to blog today, I'll leave you with this gem.

Drunk guy in room 20.
"Here, buddy, pee in this urinal for me." (Gotta do a drug screen so we can medically clear him to go sleep it off across the hall where security gets to babysit, not me.)

Step out of the room. (Like I want to watch drunk guy whip it out.) Oh, Crap! Good thing I didn't stay within spraying distance, he's peeing all over everything. Gurney, cabinets, curtains, floor....... nope, NOT urinal.

Enter big male nurse with a catheter. Drunken screaming ensues. Urine obtained. Housekeeping called. Drunk moved. Ahhhh.


Catherine said...

Hahaha. Niiiiice.

ERnursey said...

I had a drunk wander into sweet little grandmas room next to his, whip it out and start peeing in the sink. A lot of screaming ensued but it wasn't him.

Antigonos said...

I always knew there was a reason I'm in obstetrics (very, very big grin)

Nurse Kelly said...

You people don't have detox? Patient breathing, breathalyzer 0.2999 or less (or more if the patient is walking and talking): RAPID TRANSFER TO COUNTY DETOX. Buh-bye.

There was a new security guard on once babysitting a drunk for me, and here was my inservice:

"This is a drunk. He's sleeping now, but when he wakes up, the first two things he'll want to do are pee and pull out his IV."

What did he do? Yes, pee all over the place and pull out his IV, bleeding all over the place. If it's night shift, I'll try to park the actual portable commode next to the drunk's bed so when he wakes up, it'll just be like home...waking up near a crapper. It just says "pee here" to the drunk.